1. Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with

    and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them.
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 2. Fearing abandonment and loneliness, we stay in and return to painful,

     destructive relationships, concealing our dependency needs from

     ourselves and others, growing more isolated and alienated from     

     friends and loved ones, ourselves, and God.

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 3. Fearing emotional and or sexual deprivation, we compulsively pursue

     and involve ourselves in one relationship after another, sometimes

     having more than one sexual or emotional liaison at a time.
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 4. We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity

     and/or the need to rescue or to be rescued.
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 5. We feel empty and incomplete when we are alone. Even though we

     fear intimacy and commitment, we continually search for relationships

     and sexual contacts.
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 6. We sexualize stress, guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy. We

     use sex or emotional dependence as substitute for nurturing, care,

     and support.

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 7. We use sex and emotional involvement to manipulate and control    

     others.
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 8. We become immobilized or seriously distracted by romantic or sexual

     obsession or fantasies.
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 9. We avoid responsibility for ourselves by attaching ourselves to people

     who are emotionally unavailable.
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10. We stay enslaved to emotional dependency, romantic intrigue, or

      compulsive sexual activities.

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11. To avoid feeling vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate

     involvement, mistaking sexual and emotional anorexia for recovery.

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12. We assign magical qualities to others. We idealize and pursue them,
     then blame them for not fulfilling our fantasies and expectations.